Green eye Blues
by X-Kiwi-X
Summary: A dramtic turn of events has left Lily drowning in confusion. As she struggles through school life, one person guides her through all the years and hard times. Rated for future chapters. Lily and James fic.
1. Missing You Already

**Green eyed Blues**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter one: Missing You**

The slow drips, drip, drip was comforting. Listening to the tap water fall, Lily stared into the mirror. Staring back out at her was thin girl. Pale, thin and terrified. Her eyes were a startling green, like grass, but in them were flecks of black. Her mother said it was her temper showing through. But right now they look out of place. Because right now Lily was holding herself up on the sink and trembling from her trainers to her wavy red hair. The reason being was not, amazingly, because she was off to start a brand new life at a school of sorcery, not because she knew no one, not even because she was alone in the world and right now was considering throwing herself out the window to return home. It was because of what had just happened.

She had been sitting alone in a carriage. The train wasn't supposed to leave for another 10 minutes but she was here. Nervous, scared and ready to throw up. She had chosen this compartment because it was at the back of the train and lonely. She wanted to be alone. Hated meeting new people. But then she had seen undecipherable shapes appear behind the glass and words blasted into her ears.

"...So when it was offered of course I accepted. This is a once in a lifetime chance. Guaranteed power! It's like sitting on a gold mine. Plus another reason to torture all those mudbloods. You lot should join too. It is quite an pleasure to work for the.."

The oily voice had cut off as the door was flung open. Two boys stared in at me. One was tall and had blond hair, slicked back so hard it glowed. He was a fair skinned and well-dressed boy in shockingly expensive looking robes. He walked with an air of pompous and stank of a cologne Lily couldn't identify. His friend was taller still but walked hunched over as thought to hide it. His hair was black and hung greasily down, like dirty curtains in front of his face so she could not see much of it.

The blond boy looked at her oddly, in a way nobody ever had. Feeling a little disconcerted and sick, Lily tried a small smile. The blacked haired boy regarded her coldly, before stating in a rough and emotionless voice,

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in our carriage?" Lily jumped when he spoke and muttered quietly.

"I'm sorry. I'm Lily Evans. I...Well...This is my first day, I didn't realize this carriage was taken. Sorry." Head lowered she went to leave but a cold hand grabbed her wrist and threw her back into the carriage.

"A mudblood!" Spat the blond boy. "A pretty one at that. I'm sure you don't know, first year. Purebloods rule here. A pureblood is someone like me and Severus here, wizards and witches with no muggles in their family. A mudblood is like you. Muggle parentage. Not worth anything. You'll learn that as time goes by. But for now," he smiled evilly and sat next to me, "I shall leave you. I must say you are very pretty. Tell me my dear, are you a virgin?"

The question terrified her more then anything. Nodding slowly, she wondered where it was leading. Pale haired boy smiled even more.

"Severus, guard the door. Stop anyone coming the part of the train." Lily suddenly felt an overwhelming urge of hope. This boy wouldn't let him hurt her would he? One look at the smile on his white face convinced her otherwise. He left, shutting the door with a snap.

"Just you and me now, babe. I am Lucius by the way." Then he took her hand and kissed it lightly. Lily shuddered and pulled back. Suddenly she felt a sharp slap and everything slowed down. She banged her head against the cold floor of the train. Lucius didn't like being rejected at all. He was on top of her now. He lips pressed roughly against her neck and he pulled off her school robes, leaving only the muggle clothes Lily wore underneath them. His hands raked to find the bottom of her t-shirt and he began to try and pull it up while restraining a fiercely struggling Lily. Suddenly he hit her again. This time it was harder, but to her relief she felt him pulled off of her. The last thing she had seen before she passed out was a pair of deep, sapphire blue eyes full of concern.....

When she woke up it was to the same eyes. Only as she awoke, they smiled. A hand was offered to her and she took it gratefully. When she was on a chair finally she looked around. Four boys stared back at her. One was raven-haired which stuck messily about. It was his eyes she had woken to. There was a small fat boy huddling in the corner. Another raven-haired boy with deep brown eyes sat opposite her. A brown haired and eyed boy sat next to him.

"Hello. I'm James Potter. These people are Peter, Sirius and Remus."

She looked at them all. Sitting there. Smiling at her. Suddenly she ran out of the compartment. She needed to throw up.

So that was how she got here. She had a black eye and a bruised cheek. But she was alright, terrified and beaten but alright. Tears still had yet to come, but to help force them back Lily thought of her home. Her family. Her mum. If she was missing them already, the future held little promise.


	2. WaterLily

**Green eyed Blues**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter Two: Water-Lily**

When the train halted, Lily closed her eyes then squared her shoulders and jaw, before walking over to the door and throwing it open. Only to be knocked down and sat on by a confused but grinning James potter.

"Well my dear petal and what has that door done to you to be so ruthlessly wrenched off its hinges?" He said making no effort to rise up off her stomach.

"Well, I was just trying to get out of the door, but it seems almost impossible to do without being fallen on by odd little perverts who hang around girls toilets." Lily grinned, quite sure that she was going to like this boy. James's eyes widened in shock, but he carried on grinning.

"Nice to know your feeling better. Now my petal, what do you get up and I'll show you where to go?" He stood up and offered a hand to her. Lily accepted gratefully and he pulled her off the floor.

"Don't call me petal, my names Lily. So why were you here? And how did you end up on top of me?"

"Well, when you ran out of our carriage, I figured you'd come here. So nearer the end of the journey, I came to see if you were still here. I made the mistake of leaning against the door. Of course I didn't expect you to decide to come out at that precise moment. And as for the remark about being a pervert, I would like to request that you remember, a boy thinks about sex every 10 seconds, so in actual fact every male is a pervert. But we better get going, I need to get a carriage and you need to find Hagrid."

"Whose Hagrid?"

"Hogwarts game keeper, my dear Lily flower. He's the one who'll take you over the lake. Watch out though. There is the giant squid that could pose a problem but only if you fall in."

"Two points. One: my name is and always will be Lily. Also, what do you mean 'take us over the lake'? We don't have to go sailing do we?"

"Yep, 'fraid so. Why, your not scared are you?" A mischievous glint sparkled in James's eyes, his face lighting up at the thought of this tiny, possibly irrelevant, but tantalising titbit of information. Lily gulped before closing her eyes and nodding. She was terrified of water. She had no idea where it steamed from, no idea why she was! All she knew was the thought of even going over a bridge had her breaking out in a cold sweat. While wallowing in her juices of fear, she was awoken by a small giggle. Opening one eye, she looked over at James, who had turned away from her, his whole body shaking with suppressed mirth. Drawing herself up haughtily, she stared up at his convulsing figure.

"What, may I ask is so funny, Potter?" He turned round, his face shining with glee. But it was too much for him. One look at Lily, and he collapsed. Great, tumbling laughs rolled out of him, his eyes began to fill up and tears poured down his cheeks.

"You're.....Scared.........Of........Water!" He managed to choke out before dissolving into a pit of giggles. Lily looked at him grumpily then turned and walked away, arms folded across her chest. Her head was down and she muttered angrily under her breath. She heard James calling her back but she just ignored him and walked to the carriage where she had stashed her trunk. When she got there, she was relived to find it empty. She didn't want to talk to anyone in this mood. Hauling down her trunk, she pulled it outside, in her anger not noticing that it was a lot heavier then earlier. She walked over to a large bunch of people and noticed luggage racks, all pinned against the wall with signs for first year to seventh. Following the lead of other people, she threw her trunk into first year, and heard a voice calling.

"First 'ears, first 'ears. Come along now." A giant man was shouting it over to all the station. She walked over and stood. All around her were nervous children, many looking pale and as sick as she felt. She pulled out her hair and re-tied it as they all started walking towards the large lake. Now she wasn't angry, or nervous. This was a stabbing terror.

"Boo!" A familiar voice whispered at her neck. A head sat on her shoulder and looked at the lake with her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She whispered back, her eyes glancing sideward to look at his face. He took his off her shoulder and replaced it with his elbow. He grinned at her.

"Well, I explained your situation to Hagrid and he said I could come along. For moral support." Lily arched an eyebrow at him. Cocky little boy this was. She stepped backward and smiled as he fell to the muddy ground. He looked at her, shocked. Feeling slightly sorry and regretting what she did, Lily offered a hand to help him up. He took it and before Lily knew what was happening she was next to him. Laughing he pulled himself up and offered his hand. Ignoring it Lily got up herself, trying to muster as much dignity as she possibly could. This made James laugh harder. Once again she stalked off from him, only this time he followed her.

"Oh, come on. It's only a joke!" James said exasperated. Lily noted this tone and turned keeping up her 'anger'. She walked over to him and raised her hand he flinched back obviously think that she was going to slap him. Instead Lily placed a hand onto his stomach and began to tickle him. Now unfortunately for James, his main weakness was the fact he was extremely ticklish. And he hated it. He wriggled and squirmed to Lily saw fit he was punished.

"Now, aren't we supposed to be getting on to the boats?" He muttered once she'd stopped. Lily paled. Walking slowly toward the lapping waves created by the huge wind that had just picked up. Climbing tensely into the boats, Lily shut her eyes. James climbed in and sat opposite her. His foot deliberately touched hers in a gesture of comfort. They travelled in silence, having the boat to themselves. All to soon the winds had turned into full force gales. Lily opened her eyes and panicked. This was too real for her. Too scary and too full on. She hated water. She didn't know how to swim. She looked to James.

"I want to get off. I need to get off. Now!" She could barely be heard of the winds, but even if he didn't quite catch what she was saying he got the jest of it. Concern covered his face in a shawl, and he stood up to come sit next to her. But at that moment, a huge wave hit the boat. James lost his balance. In slow motion, he fell over the side of the boat. Lily screamed. She leant over the edge of the boat. She couldn't breathe, couldn't. .........what if he drowned ? She couldn't breath. She couldn't see him. She was going to pass out. She heard a scrabbling noise on the side of the boat, and she turned round too quickly. She just saw James climbing, but the boat rocked heavily and she was thrown headfirst into the cold, blackened water.

**Thanks to my reviewers:**

**Stargirl 1439**

**XxxMs.Mexxx**

**Amy- MWPP**

**Hope you like it. Reviews and flames welcome.**


	3. Slipping already

Green eyed Blues

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 3- Slipping already

The one thought as Lily was thrown over board was doom, disaster, destruction and many more destructive D words. She was drowning, dismally dying, discovering the desolate depths of her downfall.

Her entire world was filled with water, her nose full, eyes stinging and lungs choking. She had never learnt to swim and now she was paying for it, kicking and reaching for all she was worth but not moving. At least in the right direction. She was sinking and the world was growing bleaker, or was that just her vision. Her body was growing less aware, as though it no longer cared for the life that it was living. It stopped kicking and began to enjoy the sinking feeling as the cumbersome robes floated ungracefully downwards, late for a meeting with the seaweed. But the mind, the brain, the entire nerve centre was still screaming, still fighting and goddamit was it not going to give up. So what if the eyes were blackening, it was because they were sinking into darker water, not because the lack of air was strangling them. And as for the heartbeat so slow and so loud in her ears that she thought it would deafen her, it was because of the adrenalin, previously pumping through her but now, subsided and weak. And this odd feeling of vibration passing through her was merely the shock, not everything shutting down, packing up, going home or however you want to put it. It was just the shock. And it was shock that was causing her thoughts to sound so far away and scared, and the shock was the one making her relax into the icy waters great iron grip and lay her head down on the pillow of bubbles.

She was flying now. She was sleepy, dazed and confused but blissfully happy and unaware of the great bustle. She stepped off her large flying bubble onto cool tiles. She was unsteady and everything seemed to be shorter then she remembered. So she looked down at herself and saw a tiny chubby body. A toddler's body, in a cute swimming costume of orange and white stripes with tiny fish shaped red sequins. She was standing on square tiles, covered white but with large patterns of water, bubbles and marine life. She looked at one particular one. It was a fish but it looked like it was wearing make-up. He chubby forehead creased and she felt the frown. She was confused. Silly fish. Only mummies wore make-up, her mummy had said so. She looked to mummy for confirmation, but she was too busy talking to a strange women. Well, she would have to deal with it herself. She pulled herself up only to stumble back down. After a quick wobble she decided crawling was easier. So she crawled purposefully towards the fish and rubbed at its face with her hand. But it didn't work so she began to look around for something to help. Then she spotted it. A huge pond!! It was like the one in her garden only much larger, and this one had people in not fish. Either way she stretched her hand down and couldn't reach the water still. Only one thing for it. Lying on her stomach she reached as far as her arm would allow and moved further forward. Finally she did it.

She tried to grab at the water, but it kept escaping. She reached her other arm down and tried to cup it in her hands. But then she felt another push only; she wasn't doing it herself this time. Turning around to see if it was her mum, she began to fall into the water. But she wasn't that scared; she didn't have time to be because her head entered the water first, quickly followed by her body. But it wasn't so bad. In fact it was rather fun. She could see everyone's legs. But soon she wanted to breath so she opened her mouth and only got water in it. It didn't even taste of normal water. It tasted yucky. In fact she wanted to get out now, but she couldn't. She was stuck and she didn't know how to get out. Then she heard someone call her name, and she was pulled out of the water by her arm. It was her mummy! But she looked angry. And now she was shouting. This wasn't fair; she had been trying to clean the fish's face, because she didn't want him to get in trouble for playing with make-up. Then she had fallen into the icky water and couldn't get out and now her mummy was yelling. She started to cry. Not fair, not fair, not fair.

Then she felt a pulling on her arm. She felt water dribbling out form her nose and her mouth. Her hair was clinging to her neck, uncomfortably cold and clammy. Her ears roared with wind and her body was moving without consent.

"Lily? Come on now Lily flower. Wake up." She opened her eyes to see she was lying on the bank of the lake, many of the other first years standing and looking at her, with round terrified eyes and parted, wind-chapped mouths. Kneeling down was James and standing behind him was a giant. Her stomach contracted with fear at the mere sight of the man and, coupled with the huge amount of water in her system, she rolled over and threw up on the lantern lit yellow sands. Many people stepped back, not so interested not that it was getting gory. But the giant came nearer.

"How yer feelin'?" He questioned in a gravely, deep voice which made Lily realize she had nothing to fear. It was the type of voice that calmed everyone, even in the bleakest of situations. She looked over at herself. She had numerous cuts and scratches and was soaked to the bone. Her robes were dirty, her hair was in her eyes and she stank of vomit.

"I'm fine." She smiled looking up at the kindly black eyes. And she did feel much better....slightly disorientated but not too bad.

"What happened?" Whispered one of the first years. Lily glanced at James, who looked at the giant guiltily, his face pale, and also being soaked.

"It was my fault Hagrid. Lily looked scared so I went to comfort her and fell over the edge. So when I was climbing back in, the boat rocked quite violently and Lily slipped over the edge. When she come up I went to look for her in the water and got her back on the boat." He looked at Lily who was standing up slowly.

"Thanks James." She muttered embarrassed. He grinned at her, a pink flush slightly covering her nose and cheeks. Lily shivered too, suddenly aware of how cold it was.

"Shouldn't we be going to the school now?" She said timidly, not really wanting to face the prospects of what was inside. Nodding Hagrid started walking towards the large castle. Not having had time to appreciate the view before, Lily now stopped and stared in astonishment at the magnificent fairytale castle, looking so perfect that Lily wondered how no one knew it was there. The stone looked smooth and there were turrets and towers coming out in perfect ease. The decorations were of gargoyles sitting atop mounds of leases carved into the leaves and there were small magical creatures carved in into the rocks cemented into the wall. But this mystical building would have to wait as James pressed an impatient hand into her shoulder.

"Lilykins move already! I'm hungry!" He whined, sounding more pathetic then a puppy without a bone and looking similar. She rolled her eyes and began trudging toward the castle.

Thankee to all my gorgeous reviewers:

TarnishedIgnorance

Flame of desire

Stargirl1439

Your all great! :):):):):)

Reviews and flames welcome! (a virtual cookie to all who do)


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